emotionsss!!

When I pen down my emotions, I am in loss of words,
I am really feeling something, its actually absurd.
Many thoughts are wandering in my mind,
I am not able to find solace of any kind.
I am distracted with no small reasons,
I am unaware of joyous and gloomy seasons.
My mind just needs peace, stability in me,
Searching for so many years now, can’t find it thee.
Whom should I be answerable to, I don’t want to answer the same,
Jinxed and mixed feelings are mine, whom shall I put the blame.
I want to break free, I seriously need it,
My life is grudging bit by bit.
Gratification and contentment, I am in search for you,
I want this phase to get over, move over to new.