state OF being...

The unintended state of my being,
The pretended apathy which I am seeing,
The two faced people smiling on face,
Talking to them, I feel disgraced
Showing reasons which intimidate everyone,
My mood is happy, mind not ready for fun,
The truth, the lies where the vicious circle will end,
Living a life where rules are never mend,
I am missing the warmth, which I can’t feel,
Colors of contentment, feeling of zeal,
The positive vibes, feeling of purity,
I can’t get peace of mind, any deliverance, no eternity.